To act like everything is ok would be a lie. To act like I’m fine would be acting. To say that I’m going to be just fine…that’s just me saying. Because right now, I don’t know.
I sit here, and I cry, and I tell myself I need to tell someone. I need to talk before I leave for work. I need someone.
But there is no one. Mom isn’t awake, nor Kristin. I don’t know Bridgett well enough to run to her. Dee will surely be sleeping before a day of classes. I don’t have anyone else.
I’m suffocating. I cry so hard I can’t breathe. I don’t want to go to work all day and pretend everything is fine. I don’t want to even be right now. I felt alone before, but it’s real now. I don’t know how to handle it, I don’t know what to do.
There is so much that I want to say, and so many thing that I want to do, but they’re all pointless and wouldn’t do anything.
My heart is hurting so bad. I feel so broken. I don’t know what to do.