I weighed 106.0 when I got on the scale this morning. I guess I don’t understand. I’m not trying to lose weight, and I’m not limiting what I eat, but I guess it’s still not enough?
So I’m sitting here, trying to work down “just one more” bite of oatmeal. I hate feeling guilty. I hate looking in the mirror, and thinking that everyone else knows I’m to skinny. I hate finally being skinny enough to feel unattractive.
I hate lying to people about how much I weigh. I hate that my mom asks every time I call her. I hate that Bridgett worries. I hate that there are people who look at me and say, “Oh! I wish I could be that thin!”
I honstly wish there were some magical way to pick your ideal weight, and you wouldn’t have to try for it, or constantly watch what you eat to get there. I wish it was just what you were, and that’s that.
I suppose trying to be a healthy person, and maintaining a healthy weight also means not going down too far. So I guess it’s time to move back up. ><