The waiting is easier.
It’s hard to imagine how much of a difference just knowing change is coming can make. The knowledge that working seven days a week is at an end. The anticipation of weekends together with Brock, and being able to relax and enjoy myself.
One of Brock’s best friends from high school is thinking of buying a house in the same neighborhood that we live in… and also that Mark and Dana live in. I can’t even being to believe how much fun it would be to have all six of us be able to hang out whenever we want. Thursday nights are very important TV nights – My Name Is Earl, The Office, and Scrubs. We usually go over to Marks, or invite them to our place, cook dinner, and watch the shows together. Now Josh and Amanda could get in on it. We could have couples night. I could have friends. I could be involved.
On the other hand, I’m more ready for Vegas than I can say. It doesn’t really matter to me that I only have 2 more weekends of work after I we get home… I know that’s 14 more days in a row with no day off. I also know how much I dread the guilt of putting in my notice. But I can’t feel guilty. The people that know me know that this is killing me, and I can’t keep it up.
Vegas is an oasis on the horizon. Not because I want to go gamble, or be crazy… but so I can relax for a few days, and care about no one but me. (And Brock and Mom and Dad!) It will be amazing.
Funny, this was my horoscope today –
“You made commitments that are now weighing on you and there seems to be
little you can do to satisfy the authorities in control. As you try to
figure out what to do, don’t doubt yourself. This is less about what
you cannot do than it is about how demanding your life currently is.
It’s time to rely on your emotional strength, for knowing what you feel
inside can make life easier on the outside.”