Sometimes it feels good when you come to a decision.
I did a lot of thinking last night. I was helped to come to the conclusion that I haven’t really been living a whole life… not for a while now. My feelings of seclusion and isolation are very real and justified – I have been secluded and isolated. When I was only working weekends, I was home alone, all day every day, while Brock was at work. On the weekends, I was far away from everyone that I cared about, and unable to participate in any of the activities that might be going on.
As soon as I started thinking about things this way, it was amazing how quickly I felt like leaving this could be a huge help. It isn’t that I don’t have friends… they’re just around and doing things on the weekends. It isn’t that Brock and I aren’t social… I am just too tired at the end of the day to get out and do anything. We don’t get to spend time with his parents, do things together, or just plain-old-sit-around, because I’m working.
October 17th is the last day of my contract at CMC – Union. I will put in my notice so that I no longer work here after that day. I will not feel guilty for leaving this job, nor will I let them try to push me into staying. I will remember that they will be upset that I’m leaving because they like me. I am the center of my own universe, and I have to take care of myself. No one else will look out for what’s right for me. I honestly feel better just knowing that.