So how do I put this? How much do I share?
When someone hurts you, leaves you, cheats on you… do you forgive them? Do you foster a friendly relationship? Do you share the ups and downs of your life with them?
I put myself in this difficult position, and I think it’s time to end it.
When I first found out that my husband had left me – left me hanging – for someone else, I swore I would shut him out of my life. I wanted a divorce, and then I never wanted to hear from him again, in any way. I said those very words. However, as emotions cool and pains ease, I found it simple enough to talk to him every now and again. “Hi, how are ya?” and the like. Every single time I let him back into my life, it would come around to bite me in the ass. Somehow, I always end up upset, crying, feeling guilty, or frustrated.
It has come to the point where I’ve decided he doesn’t deserve the right to be a part of my life any more, good or bad. He gave up that right when he told someone else “I love you.” He chose to excuse himself from whatever we had together, and I think it’s fair to let him live with that decision. I don’t know how much to share about this and how much to keep to myself.
I put up the Xanga lock because I’m tired of him coming to me with things that he’s seen or heard on my Myspace, Xanga or from friends. I want the line drawn now. I said earlier that I might have to tighten up, and I’m not sure how far that will go. But I don’t want phone calls, emails, messages… anything.
He let me go, and now I want him to let me go.