On Growth Spurts and Nose Hairs.

Don’t you love growth spurts?

Last night, I went to bed with my little chunk of love.  His rolls make me giddy, his second chin brightens my day,  I absolutely LOVE the way his little belly hangs over his diaper.  Except today… today there was a different baby in my bed.  Someone stole into my room in the middle of the night, and switched my hunk of honey-loving with a longer, skinnier version of my son.  Just like that, his wrists stick out of his sleeves and his pants aren’t quite long enough.  Just like that, the tabs on his little diaper come closer together than they did before.  JUST LIKE THAT, he can stand up and hit his head on things that were far above him yesterday.

What an amazing thing to behold.  My son is quite literally growing up before my eyes.

I had this amazing, funny idea for a blog – but it involved my husband.  So, being the good wifey that I am, I ran it by him first.  He vetoed.  So now, I’m going to try to continue the same idea (albeit less funny) without involving him at all.

A few months ago, I was disturbed by the fact that my nose hairs stuck out of my nose when I smiled.  So… I clipped them.  Yes, I took nail clippers, stuck them up my nose, and shortened the length of almost ALL of them.  I then proceeded to inspect my handiwork by smiling and turning my head to all angles, being sure there were no longer any hairs sticking out.  I was pleased with the results.

Fast forward a few weeks, when the recently clipped hairs begin growing back.

My nose hairs are now long enough again to reach the opposite side of the nose on which they grow.  Only now, instead of tapering to a gentle point, they are rudely and squarely cut off at the end.

My nose hairs now JAB the INSIDE of my own nose, and they are driving me CRAZY.

Every facial expression, every time I wriggle my nose, every SINGLE time I sneeze, the inside of my nose is poked by a hundred sharp, annoying, frustrating nose hairs.  And I am at a loss as to what to do.  Do I cut them again, shortening the length yet prolonging the problem?  Or do I let them go, live with the inner-nose torture, and hope they’ll grow out long enough to solve the annoyance?  Letting them grow out again returns me to my original problem: the nose-hair smile.

I must find some way to get rid of the nose-hair smile.


Facebook Comments
  • Dee

    LoL. I love that you posted this. Most wouldn’t dare discuss such a thing. It’s also a great scary Halloween story for me, because I recently cut all my nose hairs and how and terribly afraid for what is about to undergo in my nostrils!!! AAaahhh!!

  • Hahahahaha! I can’t believe you came clean about something like this. Good luck!

  • I’m all about the honesty, yo. 😉

  • Thomas

    Just uh… pull them out?

    Its what I do and they don’t come back nearly as often. Plus it only hurts for a little bit ;D

    • It only hurts A LOT for a little while! It makes my eyes water and I sneeze. Plus, do you know how MANY hairs you have to tweeze to make them not stick out? A fricking lot. Why do I have to deal with this problem? This is a boy problem.

  • Got tweezers? I think Thomas has the best suggestion.

  • you see nuisance.

    i see opportunity.

  • My vote goes for tweezers as well.

  • Thomas

    Freckletree actually has the best suggestion

  • I hate to imagine how gross / embarrassing your post would have been if I didn’t “veto”


    • It would have been FUNNY! Only YOU are grossed out by nose hairs. You killed my funny.

  • Sarah

    Buy battery operated nose clippers that have a rotary blade. Just put it in your nose a couple times a month and you should be hair free. Duh!

    • Haha! Thanks 😀 Maybe my husband could use them too. Is it okay to share clippers??