I Don’t Want To Write About This.

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So, I’m upset and I was going to sit and write an email.   Then I realized that I hadn’t posted a blog in several days, which is unacceptable, so I decided to write a blog instead.

Why am I upset?

I have spent the last two and a half years of my life as the happy female half of a wonderful couple.  My husband is a ‘gamer’ in that he loves video games, and spends as much time playing as he can get away with.  However, he’s always been reasonable about his playing time, and has never really left me feeling like I wasn’t getting to spend enough time with him.  Until recently.  I have discovered that the only reason I wasn’t a gamer-widow more often was because my husband didn’t have a computer that allowed him to play as frequently or for as long as he wanted.

Then he got a new PC for Christmas.

I now remember why I always swore to myself that I would never get involved with a man that played video games again.

What really breaks my heart is that I had such a great Christmas, and want to post about our holiday, our gifts, and all the wonderful pictures that I took… but all I can think about is how much it sucks that my husband wants to sit upstairs on his computer and play.   Better yet, instead of wanting to come downstairs for a while, he wants to baby-proof the UPSTAIRS, and have Ronan and I go up there with him.   Because sitting next to him while he’s completely absorbed in a game is JUST as good as spending quality time with him anywhere else in the house.

Hold on, I forgot to hold up my “sarcasm” sign.

This morning, when I got up with Ronan, the boy whom had just spent the most HORRIBLE nights sleep in bed with me, Brock asked me if I wanted him to get up instead so they could let me sleep.   Only I figured out this trick… the one where he says he’s going to get up, but instead lets Ronan stay up and play in bed with us until I get mad and tell them to leave.  After that, he brings Ronan back into the room any time he’s fussy or tired, so I don’t get any real sleep.   Today, I said no instead, and told Brock to sleep in so I could have a good nap in the afternoon before my midnight shift.

Ronan and I got up at 7:00.  Brock got up at 9.  I was watching my Christmas present, P.S. I love you, when he got out of bed.  I knew he had no interest in watching it with me for the third time, so he went upstairs to his computer.   I put Ronan down for a nap at 10.  My movie ended at 10:30.  Ronan woke up at 12:00 (blessed 2 hour naps!), and Brock was still up on his computer.   At 1:00, I had decided that it was time for me to have a nap, and asked if Brock was planning on coming down “any time today?”   He finished his game, told his buddies that he had to go, and then came downstairs.   I said that I wanted to sleep for a few hours, and went to the guest room so baby naps wouldn’t wake me.  I woke up at 4:30, and got in the shower for work.

The whole point of that WHOLE paragraph?   Brock and I spent exactly ZERO time together today.   It has just begun, and it’s already starting to REALLY get to me.

What’s even more, this is our evening text conversation:

7:17pm – Me – I love you.

8:15pm – Me – Where are you?

8:16pm – Brock – I love you. Ronan is being mad.

8:16pm – Me – Oh no :( Did you give him oatmeal?

11:23pm – Me – Are you playing on your computer?

12:01am – Brock – Kinda. Been in and out of the bed room a lot.

12:01am – Me – Baby troubles?

12:28am – Me – Are you gone to bed?

12:36am – Me – I wish you would answer me. I worry when you don’t. I love you and I hope you aren’t having a bad night.

1:12am – Me – I guess I’m just gonna assume you gont tired and fell asleep. I’ll see you in the morning.

3:07am – Brock – Going to bed now. Love you.

Ok, seriously?  I know games are mad fun and shit, but it doesn’t take THAT LONG to answer a text.  This is an inside joke, and you will not get it, but ALL I’M ASKING FOR IS A LITTLE CONSIDERATION.

I know it’s new, and the shiny fun-ness of it will probably wear off.  I’m just hoping the fun-ness goes away before all of my patience does.

  • Alena

    I have a gamer boyfriend.. I know exactly how you feel!

    Jordan has cut down a lot since the baby arrived, which is awesome. At one point I realized that he wasn’t playing raids anymore, and I asked why. His guild actually stopped asking him to come on raids because he kept taking afk breaks to play with/attend to our child. (Which I thought made them a bunch of jerks, but that’s probably just the mother in me speaking) I think it made him kind of realize that group gaming just doesn’t suit his lifestyle anymore. (And that most of them don’t have kids/families lol)

    So now he just plays mostly by himself, leveling new characters, so then he can easily play with Jack, attend to Jack, or me, at a moments notice. And then save any group playing for when Jack and I are gone for a couple of hours. Or he’ll ask if I mind watching Jack while he plays for a while.

    But like I said, he’s cut down a lot. He knows when there’s a suitable time to play, and when there’s not. Family is more important. Gaming can wait. I don’t have any advice or anything, it’s just something he needs to come to terms with himself.

  • http://janusfiles.livejournal.com Janus

    Maybe what you need to do is find someone to design a computer game that features you, and give it to Brock. And once he reaches a certain score, he gets a message saying something like, “Wouldn’t it be more fun to play with the real me?”
    .-= Janus´s last blog ..Hey, Rocky! =-.

  • Supa Beff

    Here’s what i see…from where i’m sitting.

    Man Cave: they ALL need one! But, there HAS TO BE BALANCE!

    As his wife, it is YOUR JOB to tell him how you FEEL…remember to NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY!

    He’s just a man who need’s some time in his CAVE…it’s so not about YOU…

    even tho, it’s effect’s you.

    something else i’ve learned over the years is that ‘us women’ are the decider’s of how smooth our rough something can be….if we are feelin all girly and take something personally, it’s usually a rough road…if we are ‘choosing out battles’ and sluff it off as no big deal, they it can be a smooth ride with just a wee bit of a learning curve, for him, of course, because men have so much to learn from us ever so smart women.

    Daniel is my first ‘gamer’. I LOVE IT! Of all the ‘things’ he could be doing with his ‘spare time’ aka ‘man time’…it’s definately #1 on my list!

    Just tell him how you feel. Don’t be mad, it’s not that bad, seriously.

  • http://www.tempestbeauty.com Mandy

    Alena – You lucky girl, you >< It was nice when you could play together, wasn’t it? Those were the days. I hope he gets there too. Sounds like you guys have a great setup.

    Janus – Great idea! I’ll get him working on that. :)

    Ahh Beth… How can you be so wise, and so funny, and so lovely all at the same time? There must be a rule against that.

    I think your purpose in life is to set me straight. I ALWAYS forget about cave time, and I KNOW he needs it. Thanks again. <3