Monthly Archives: September 2010

Heart Problems.

Posted on by
5

Interesting week.

Wednesday morning, I got up with Ronan,  we ate breakfast together, and then we walked to the sitters.  I felt pretty out of it, but attributed it to a poor night’s sleep, and went about my way.  I came home, packed up for work and hit the road.

The scariest time is when I feel dizzy and light-headed while driving.  It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, I just want to pull over.  I should.  I didn’t.  I continued in to work, and walked into the department feeling like I was moments away from fainting.  I sat down in a chair and felt the world go black.  It felt like only a second, but may not have been – I sat up straight and shook my head, trying to clear it out, trying to get back some semblance of normal feelings.  Everything was just off.

I went into one of the rooms and put on the pulse-oximiter, which registered an oxygen saturation of 100%, but my pulse was 134 – tachycardia.  My resting heart rate is somewhere around 70.

I ate a banana and a granola bar, drank about 20 ounces of water, and continued to feel awful.  Periodic checks showed my heart rate above 120 for nearly 2 hours.  By the end of the day, it was still above 100.

When I woke Thursday morning, I felt great.  A quick pulse check said 70.  Despite feeling better, I took the advice I was given at work the day before, and called the doctor anyways.  They told me to come in.

So, yesterday I had an EKG, an ultrasound to check the baby, and was fit for a “holter” monitor, which is monitoring my heart rate as we speak.  I’ve had episodes similar to this one before, but they come more than a week apart, and I’m fairly sure a 24 hour monitor isn’t going to catch anything.  That being said, I’m glad it’s being taken seriously, and if there is something to find, it will be found.

I should get the results from today some time next week.  I will post an update when I do.  Hopefully it’s nothing other than silliness related to pregnancy.

In other news, if you haven’t already heard from text, Twitter or Facebook… we are having a GIRL!

How Much Do You Want On Your Plate Today?

Posted on by
2

Sometimes, I lay in bed wide awake and plan what I’m going to do the next day.

I did that last night.  Today’s agenda looks more like something that should happen in a WEEK.

I need to get to ImaginON and pick up the cloth diaper I left there.

I need to get to the post office and ship some packages.

I need to get to Target and get a few groceries.

I have to call and pay some bills.

I need to do at least two loads of laundry, but more would be better.

I would like to drive around to a few banks.

I need to talk to a doctor/midwife about a ‘womanly’ problem.

I’d like to vacuum.

I need to eat.

Holy moly, need to shower.  That should be at the TOP of the list.

Actually, you know, now that I write it all down, it doesn’t look that bad.  It doesn’t look like a list I can reasonably get done in ONE day with a toddler, but it still looks doable.

It’s probably about time to get on top of that shower.  And start some laundry. No real reason to sit here and continue writing when there are things that need doing!

ImaginON!

Posted on by
2

Here in Charlotte, we have a free public library that has a TON of places for kids to play and explore, as well as TONS of books.

I love this place more than I can say.  There are baby areas, toddler areas, big kid areas, and of course plenty of space to run.

My friend Mary Beth and I have a semi-standing monthly ImaginON date, and I look forward to it all month.  I got some sweet pictures of Ronan while we were there last time.  None of them smiling, to be sure, but cute none the less.

I promise you, he DOES smile.  Just not on camera.

This last one is probably one of my favorite pictures I’ve ever taken.  Just saying.

The Poop Dilemma.

Posted on by
9

Oh Ronan.

Tuesday night, in bed on time.  I love that you fall asleep so well, and stay asleep.  I check on you before I go to bed, and everything is well.

…But when we wake in the morning, there is poop.  It has been there a while, and you are rashed all over.  Why did you start pooping at night?

Last night, you woke at 1:42 am.  I left you for a few minutes to see if it was ‘real’ and you started signing “Help!” on the monitor, so I went up to help.  As soon as I walked into your room, I could smell another poop.  I changed you, cuddled, kissed, and you went back to sleep.  I love that you sleep.

WHY are you pooping at NIGHT?

Okay people.  I need suggestions… has anyone had a problem with this?  How do I get him to poop either before bed, or not go until morning?  Is there any solution to this situation?

Pooping at night isn’t good for ANY of us.

CLOTH!

Posted on by
2

Many of you know Brock and I cloth diapered Ronan for most of his life.

He was in Bum Genius diapers for ages and ages.  From 1 month old until nearly a year old.

I stopped doing cloth when I got tired of battling laundry every day.  I got tired of stuffing diapers.  In general, I just got tired.

But we’ve had a cloth resurgence in our household!  I’ve been using the Bum Genius FLIP System instead, and loving every moment of them.

They’re different than the Bum Genius 3.0′s we’d used in the past.  You don’t have to stuff them, and you don’t have to dry the outer shells.  They are like a snap-up diaper cover, and a liner that lays in them.  There are 3 options for the liner (a synthetic “stay-dry” liner, an organic cotton liner and a disposable liner for on-the-go!) and each time you change the diaper, you need only remove the liner, wipe out the cover, and replace with a new liner!  Works in most cases, except for messy poops.  Ronan seems to like them just fine.

Seems to me like just about anything can get ‘old’.  Lately, old has been changing disposable diapers, throwing them out, and buying more.  Cloth became more and more appealing again and again.  We started back in cloth full time last week, and it only took me two days to figure out that I wanted more Flips.

This probably isn’t worthy of a blog post, but it’s what’s going on in my world right now!  I’m going to try to sell my BG 3.0′s and buy more Flips with the money.  If we get well enough back in the habit, it will be easier to put our newborn in cloth as well.

In other news, I can’t find my camera.  So no new pictures for a while.  Boo.

Perspective.

Posted on by
6

Funny how a new one will change what you think.

My first pregnancy was terrible – a sham.  I was so excited, so desperate for a child, so ready to be a mom.  I wanted to wonder and revel in every moment of growing a human being.  I used to dream about how magical the experience would be, I used to sit and imagine how amazingly my body would change.  Instead… I hated every second of it.  I was so unprepared for the discomfort, the changes, the reality of being pregnant.  I told myself I was just not a ‘good pregnant woman’.  I couldn’t understand how there were those that said they LOVED being pregnant, loved pregnancy.

And then…

…and then I had two miscarriages.  Two lost little lives.  Two moments of unbearable excitement and desperate pain.  A third positive pregnancy test… filled with hope and doubt, guarding my heart against another stolen dream.  But with each passing day, this baby grew – bigger, stronger, more complete – more real.

Nothing is different this time around.  The nausea, exhaustion, aches, fatigue, moodiness – it’s all the same.  Some of it’s even worse.  Only this time, I DO revel in it.  I allow myself to enjoy every single moment.

Because I am carrying a child.  I am creating life.  I am thankful.

And I LOVE being pregnant.

Ronan is 18 months old and I am 17 weeks pregnant.

Hand Written.

Posted on by
Reply

This blog was written out by hand and typed later on.

———

Want to write.

Nowhere to write… except good ol’ pen and paper.

Days have such huge ups and downs.

Terrible tantrums and sweetest kisses.

Perfect love making and awful fights.

This is life.

Good weeks and bad weeks.  Good years, bad times.

When you look back, do you remember the bad?  More than the good?

Things were so terrible for so long.  A year of no sleep.

Frustration, anger, exhaustion… all a dim memory now.

Why were we so upset?

We’d do it all over again in a second, take the bad for the good.

It is forever this way.

Yelling, arguing.

Why are we so upset?

This too shall pass.

What About Today?

Posted on by
6

We are off and running.

Up at 6:30 because I thought I heard something in the living room.  Ended up being the dog.

Brock woke up because I was awake.  We laid in bed together, quietly, enjoying the morning.  His alarm went off, and I beat him to the shower… if I get up before Ronan, I get a real shower!

Got Ronan up – he had soaked through another diaper.  I don’t now how many nights in a row this is.  I’ve lost count.  I’m tired of washing sheets.  I was just at Target, and I didn’t think of buying some size 6 diapers for overnights… I guess I should go back.

Anyways.  Got Ronan up, brought him down stairs where his breakfast was already waiting for him.  Little known fact about Ronan: he is SO HUNGRY when he wakes up, he can’t wait for you to get something ready for him.  He’s sort of shaky and wobbily, and desperate for something to eat.  I get food ready before I head up the stairs; he’ll patiently wait in his room until I come get him, but once he’s up, he wants FOOD.

Ronan and I sat on the couch and enjoyed Peanut Butter and Eggo waffles.  He’s naked at this point because I take off his soaked through diaper, but he wont let me put a new one on until he’s eaten something (see above.)  Dad comes out from his shower, and Ronan wants up.  Wraps his arms around Brock’s legs, and starts lifting his feet in the air.  I swear, the kid will be able to climb up on his own soon.  Brock picks him up and walks around with him for a few minutes.  Hands him something he really wants… ends up being a cup of Queso from Moe’s last night.  I let him play with it for a few minutes after Brock leaves, but he’s going to make a mess, and he wont eat it.

So I take it away.

And the MELTDOWN commences.  These are the kinds of tantrums you see on TV.  He screams, he throws himself around, he writhes on the floor.  I got up to go to the kitchen to find something else to offer him for breakfast (assuming he was still hungry)… and he followed me.  YES, totally like that kid that followed his parents with his tantrum as they walked away.  When I came back into the living room, he followed me back and threw himself on the floor again.

I showed him what I had for him to eat (a granola bar, or raisins) and he walked over and tried to hit me.

The hitting.  Oh please, please parents of children older than 5 – tell me your toddlers hit and then grew out of it.  Tell me hitting is a natural form of frustration that he will learn to curb, and my child isn’t a monster that will continue to get worse and worse.

I sat him down, told him hitting was unacceptable, and that he could have the granola bar if he said please.  He signed please while crying, and I opened it and handed it to him.  Crisis averted, happy again.  Talking, squealing, sitting on my lap and chatting.  Do I dare take a trip to the grocery store?

Fifteen short minutes later, Ronan was dressed and content, and we were out the door.  I dread trips to Target.  I hate grocery shopping (even BEFORE I had to check all the labels.)  We’re trying Ronan on a Dairy Free diet for 6 weeks to see if it helps clear up his Reflux, which has continually gotten worse.  We walked up and down all of the aisles while I checked products I’ve never looked at before to see if they contain any dairy.

Ronan was sweet, calm, patient and so so good.  He sat happily in the buggy the whole time.  He chatted with me.  He laughed when I did silly things.  He gave me kisses, and asked to see products as I put them in the cart.  He didn’t cry, whine or fuss even ONE TIME.  As I walked towards the check out counter, he asked for some Raspberries – signed Please, and Eat.  I opened the package and let him snack while I checked out (unwashed, I know!  GASP!), and he waved to the check-out lady.  I told him he was ‘so sweet’.

She said to me, “Do you know who has nice kids?  Nice parents… he just takes after you.”

And it made my whole day.