Found But So Lost.

I have this sense of serenity.  A peace and yet excitement about the future that I haven’t had in a long time.  I feel like I know where I’m going, and there is a definite path to get there.  No wondering, hoping, or being let down by someone else.  This one is all about me.

Yet…

Yet Ronan is an enigma.  His sleep has fallen to bits, his behavior is atrocious, and his attitudes are killer.  He hits and throws toys with reckless abandon.  He busts out a monumental fit at the drop of a hat.  We can’t reliably take him ANYWHERE.  Brock and I are at our collective wits end about how to deal with him, and what the cause is.  Teething? Doesn’t look like it.  Ears?  He checked out clean at the ped today.  Lack of sleep?  That’s probably it, but we can’t get the kid to sleep lately!

Last night, he was up until nearly 8 o’clock after being put in bed at 6:30.  He woke at 2am.  And then 2:30.  And then 3.  So on, and so forth until around 5am.  He then woke at his normal time, 7:30am after getting so little sleep that I can’t believe he’s functioning.

Also, keep in mind this is the same kid that just a few short weeks ago was going to bed at 5:30 every night, and sleeping until 8:30 every morning, PLUS a 2 hour nap!  If he woke in the night, a few minutes of being left alone he would go back to sleep.  Now?  Now, he may be poopy.  So EVERY SINGLE WAKE UP, I have to go check on him.

And I have to say, it’s not that it’s so terrible that I can’t handle it.  I think it’s the not knowing. Is this normal behavior stuff?  Is he stressing because we’re stressing (jobs, money, new babies, stuff)?  Or is there something physically going on that we just aren’t figuring out?

It’s the not knowing that kills me.

Every day is pretty terrible… but every day is pretty wonderful too!  There are a lot of great moments.  Lots of kisses, cuddles, laughs… he makes us laugh every single day.

I’m not wishing time away.  I’m just hoping that things get a little better, so we feel level again.  Because right now, when it comes to Ronan, I feel pretty lost.

  • April

    Maybe we should get together to commiserate. *grinning* Emily has been crazy lately too, not so much in the sleep department…but in moods. Our sweet girl is throwing and angry (a lot!) and not eating!! This is the child who would eat ANYTHING you put in front of her. I’m chalking it up to the 2’s fast approaching…but the not knowing freaks me out too. Is this who she is? Or will she outgrow it? Ahhh.
    :)

  • http://janusfiles.xanga.com Janus

    Maybe he’s trying to get as much attention as he can now before he has to share it with his little sister.
    Janus´s last blog post ..You Know Its A Good Backpack When

  • Supa Beff

    how about making a chart like thing where you track ‘good days’ and ‘bad days’ and get a ‘real’ look at his behaviour. you can even go deeper and chart what he eats, etc just to see if it’s some sort of allergy or whatever…like is the behavoiur related to something he ate or whatever.
    i would start by markin the calendar every day…start with a number system 1-5 is a good to average day – highlight on calendar with blue highlighter…6-10 are badass days…highlight in red.
    get it?

    just get a sense of where he’s at with his ‘good days’ and ‘bad days’.

    and just remember, you’ll likely forget what a shit he was when he’s a teenager anyways.

    and, if all else fails, just tazer the little fart.

    heh

  • Anita Stewart

    Ha,ha!! Been there..I always say it’s a phase and it will soon pass but I’m not sure if it really passes or we just get used to the new behavior and after a while it doesn’t seem so bad. I think we, as parents just learn to adjust and find ways to handle their bahavior. Just wait…three is the worst. But above all there is always more good times than bad :) Oh and I saw you are having a girl, how lucky you are!