Two Little Boys.

There are two little boys running around my house lately.

There is the one that is quiet, and plays independently.  He’s the one that is a little angel for his father.  He eats without making a mess, doesn’t throw toys, and doesn’t hit anyone.  He can be left to his own devices for sometimes hours at a time.  He takes naps and goes to bed without crying.

I have never met this child.  I only get to play with the ‘other’ boy.

I get to play with the little boy that needs momma to do everything WITH him.  The one that is always pulling on my hand and whining, no matter what it is that he wants.  The one that will stare at me as he throws a toy, and then scream with outrage when I take it away.  The one that kicks and squirms and squeals through every single diaper change.  This boy doesn’t want to stay home, but can’t be managed in public.  He cries all the way up the stairs for naps.  He is frustrated and impatient and always seems unhappy.

I was not aware I was raising two little boys.  Nor, was I aware of the difference between a mother and a father, and how that could manifest in the behavior of a single child.  I cannot put into words the feeling that emerges when I wake up from sleeping all day (after a hectic night shift) and am told, “Ronan was a little angel today.  He’s been so good!” only to have him wake up from a nap, see me, and become the little monster boy that I’ve played with all week.  “I don’t understand.  He wasn’t like this while you were sleeping.”

I am told this is the way of things.  I am told this is how children behave with their mothers, rather than every other person that keeps them.  I am told this is normal and to expect it.

But it doesn’t stop me from wishing I got to play with the other boy.

  • http://www.catelinden.com Cate

    I had no idea this was a common thing…but this is EXACTLY how Simone acts with Jason and I. If she’s in a room alone with Jason, she’s a little angel. She plays with him. She’s sweet. Sometimes she plays while he does his own thing. But if Jason’s trying to play with her while I’m in the room…the monster comes out. She’ll run up to the couch while I’m reading and bang on my legs with her hands, screaming. She wants me to play with her, but when I get down on the floor to do that, she wants nothing to do with me. I love her and she’s getting much better about playing independently, but sometimes I wish I saw less of the monster and more of the angel. :-(
    Cate´s last blog post ..Menu Plan Monday

  • http://lethergrow.blogspot.com/ Tiffany G

    Oh its the same here x2! The boys are angels with daddy. But the way i see it is they don’t get to see him as much as they do me. I do most of the discipline. I am with them all day (except Leland now that he’s at school) I put them to bed most nights, so when daddy comes around its like they haven’t seen him in a week and there angel’s. I figure this is one of the reasons why most dads think being a mom or a stay at home mom is such an easy job.
    Tiffany G´s last blog post ..Pumpkin Patch

  • http://janusfiles.xanga.com Janus

    Just a theory of mine, but maybe kids think they can get away with more stuff with Mom than they can with anyone else.
    Janus´s last blog post ..Connect The Links

  • http://www.lovingmylifeblog.com Sarah

    I so know where you are coming from. It is crazy. Dustyn will act like a little terror around me. I will run to the store and Kenny says he was perfect. It is so sad.
    Sarah´s last blog post ..Manic Monday