I am blogging, because I am not sleeping. Ronan woke up this morning around 4ish, and hasn’t been back to sleep yet. Neither have I.
Brock offered to sleep in the guest room with the monitor last night so I could get a full nights sleep, and I didn’t take him up on it. I regret it wholly and sincerely. But I am up, and so instead of laying in bed mourning my loss of sleep, I have started to get out of bed and attempt to get things done.
I have plans for today. I want to drop items off at the dry-cleaners. I want to go to the Vitamin Shoppe and buy some much needed items for my labor/delivery. I want to go to the paint store and pick out the paint for my baby girl’s room. I want to PAINT!
I also have a midwife appointment today. I am 35 weeks and 5 days, nearly past the hump of “prematurity” and getting to the point where I will feel comfortable going into labor whenever she decides to come. My belly feels huge, and I can’t do much. There is discomfort, usually positional, and I’m tired so easily. But I’m not unhappy. I’m not “ready to get her out” or sick of being pregnant, or any of the other things people have assumed upon me. I am content. I am thrilled to know her, and see her, and hold her – to feel her in my arms – but not until she is ready, set, and willing to come.
There are so few days that I haven’t enjoyed being pregnant, and I am thankful for it. I know I want to do this again, I know I don’t want this to be the last child I carry within me. I guess we’ll have to have the “how many kids” talk some day. Work is getting a little more difficult, as 12 hours are a whole lot to work in a row. My ankles have started noticeably swelling by the end of my shift, and it feels SO good to get off of my feet. The end is near, this does not go on forever, all will be well.
Life is about to change, so certainly. My mind is abuzz with all that is coming, all that we have yet to do. I can’t stop thinking about my mother arriving, or making food to freeze, or getting the carpets cleaned, or, or, or. I have baby clothes to wash, and pump parts to steralize, and a birthing bag to pack.
No reason not to get started! It will really be here sooner than I am ready for… so it’s time to get ready.
I am 35 weeks pregnant, and Ronan is 22 months old.