Adjusting to major changes is hard.
Adjusting to having two kids is hard.
Dealing with no sleep, screaming, and baby constipation is really hard.
No naps, and exhaustion, and time outs and getting slapped in the face are all really hard.
Nothing can come even close to comparing to how I feel about going back to work.
I have a ton of shit bottled inside right now, and I don’t know how to let it out. Anger, frustration, fear, guilt. It is eating me up like you would not believe.
I don’t want to blog about it.
Instead, I just keep going day to day, acting like I’m not upset with emotions I’m having trouble controlling simmering just under the surface.
I will clean the house.
I will bounce with Ruby.
I will play with Ronan.
I will stay calm.
I will not cry.
But I will want to.