Nipple. Confused.

I hate that term.

Nipple confusion.

Ruby is not confused.  She knows exactly what she wants.  She wants the nipple from a bottle, and putting the breast in her mouth makes her ANGRY.

I have asked and asked for advice and help.  I have spoken to numerous lactation consultants.  Other breastfeeding moms.  Internet websites. Anything I can find.

There are two schools of thought on nipple confusion.

1.  We need to stop bottle feeding altogether, and move to cup feeding or some other alternative feeding method.


2.  We can quit breastfeeding altogether and move entirely to pumping/bottle feeding.

Honestly, both of those options make me want to cry.

Cup feeding means that Brock will have to get up in the middle of the night and feed Ruby out of a cup.  I can only imagine one or both of them getting incredibly frustrated, and giving up.  I feel like it is a lot to ask of them.  In the middle of the night when they are already tired, frustrated and struggling together.

Exclusive pumping means I give up breastfeeding.  That I love.  That I have waited so impatiently for.  That I was so excited to get to do again.  Something that I will only get to do a very limited number of times in my life.  Something that is gone all too quickly already.

I keep sitting back and hoping this will magically fix itself.  That she will suddenly stop pulling off at the breast, biting down on the nipple and getting angry.  I keep hoping that she will remember how wonderful everything was before I went back to work, and our nursing relationship will return to what it was.

I keep wanting to cry.

I don’t really know what else to say, other than I had to get some of this out.  Please just keep us in your thoughts.  I don’t know how things will work out, but I hope they do.


Ruby is 9 weeks old.

  • mommy-momo

    i refuse to believe these are you’re only two options. Cup feeding a 9 week old? i agree…. that would be the most frustrating thing! i say have faith in your baby that she will get with the program. It has to be frustrating but dont give up and when not at work only try to feed the boob. Im not speaking from experience at all so bare with me, but eventually she will learn right?

    Did you get my tweet about the BREASTFRIEND bottles? I dont work so we dont have to use them often but my best friend is a nurse so she had long hours and managed to nurse and bottle feed her baby. she swore by these bottles and they work for us as well. they’re different then other bottles. The nipple of them is slow release system so its like theyre nursing. I hear babies start to prefer the bottle because its so much easier then nursing so thats the idea behind these.

    good luck girl and keep your head up. it will work out. Keep me updated :)
    mommy-momo´s last blog post ..W-W Daddy and his kids

  • Cate

    I’m so sorry, Mandy. I can’t even imagine how frustrating this must be, and I feel for you so much. Thinking of you.
    Cate´s last blog post ..Fewer Toys- More Fun

  • Katherine

    I know a lot of LCs dont’ like them, but have you tried a nipple shield? I used one with my little guy because he was tongue tied (I pumped for the first two weeks). . .anyway, you’ve probably thought of it and a million other things, hang in there, I really think it will all work out!

  • Jackie

    Mandy, we need to talk. Seriously. I’m going through something very very similar with my twins, and had a major meltdown yesterday because of it. My son won’t latch, my daughter will. They are losing weight, now I have to supplement. “Don’t use a bottle, but use formula” wtf?! So for now I pump, and bottle feed, and also supplement (for now). Why? So babies gain weight, and so we can all get some f-ing sleep. *hugs*