If you let your baby Cry-It-Out, don’t read this link.
Otherwise, I think this is a very beautiful, powerful, well written post. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
I need to share this.
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Category Archives: Sleep Stuff
Updating things.
One of the things they tell you when you start changing things is to only change one at a time. That way, you’ll know what it is that you did that caused the improvement.
I never listen.
We started Ronan on his reflux medicine, but around the same time I started trying a new ‘going to bed’ method. It’s the one where I lay down next to him, and I MAKE him stay laying down, but I don’t help him fall asleep at all. There is a little bit of fussing, a little bit of crying, but no rocking, singing, nursing or anything. He just has to go to sleep on his own.
The first night, it took an hour. The second night, it took 20 minutes. Last night, it took 2 minutes. And his sleep stretches have gotten as long as 5 hours. You know, for us, that is as good as 12.
I don’t know what’s made the biggest difference. We’ve noticed a big reduction in the amount he’s been refluxing, and how upset he gets when it happens. Maybe it’s a combination of both. All I’m hoping is that saying this out loud wont jinx us.
Please, don’t let it jinx us.
**I just put Ronan down for the night, and it took him about 30 seconds to fall asleep. Holy moly, YES! Also, I started using “California Baby” soap products tonight because of eczema and a nagging skin rash he’s had for a while. Lets see if we can FIX everything.**
Edit: 10:09 pm.
Ronan is still awake. He woke up after about an hour. He has been up since then, despite all of my efforts. Nothing ever gets better. Nothing improves. I should probably just let him cry it out, because that would probably be better than the impulse I have to hold a pillow over him. What the hell did we ever do to deserve this?
Snap… Back to Reality.
Have you noticed something has been missing lately? Have you kept track of how long it’s been since I wrote a blog about Ronan’s sleep habits?
Well. That is because we didn’t want to jinx a good thing while it lasted. I was afraid to blog about how great Ronan has been, because I thought, like speaking a wish out loud, it goes away when acknowledged.
I guess it doesn’t matter either way.
For the past three weeks, Brock and I have been living in a state of partial bliss. Ronan has been going to sleep easily around 6pm, and staying in bed until morning. Now, don’t get too excited for us… he hasn’t been STAYING asleep. He still wakes every couple of hours. But when compared with him staying up until nearly midnight, this has been a HUGE accomplishment! He’s also been going RIGHT back to sleep after every wake period. There have been TWO HOUR NAPS! Simply amazing. Brock and I had some alone time. We watched some movies from start to finish. We had the chance to enjoy each other… without rushing. And we felt like perhaps we’d made it over the hump. Maybe things would look up from here on out?
Wow.
Could we possibly have been more wrong?
I know I’ve said this before. I know I’ve always said, “At least it can’t get any worse than this.”
I must be tempting fate, really.
For the last week, now, Ronan has been an absolute bear. All day, fussy and grumpy. All night, waking and screaming. Crying every hour. Unable to be consoled, and unable to fall back asleep on his own. Trying to GET him to sleep is an absolute nightmare. Without changing ANY of our routine or habits, he now stays up and fights sleep until 11 pm. Naps are difficult, frustrating, and short. We’re right back in the snarling pit of exhausted hell. What changed? Hard to say. Is he teething again? Growing pains? Developmental leap? Is there any way to know?
We have an official diagnosis of GERD – Gastroesophogeal Reflux Disease – and have started treatment of Prevacid. It takes 2 weeks for the medicine to kick in and make a noticeable difference. Could this have been the problem all along? Should I have stuck to my guns, and fought harder to prove that his problem at night isn’t just behavioral? I can’t beat myself up. We’ve done everything we possibly can.
I hope this is just a passing phase.
I might die if it isn’t.
Christmas Came Early.
At my house, anyways!
Brock gave me my present last night. It was a sleeping pill. And a free night off from the baby.
I slept in the guest room, where I took my little blue Unisom pill, and a bottle of water. I laid my head down at 8:30pm, and I didn’t rise to the surface of my slumber until 5:30 this morning. I think the pain of needing to pump woke me – I’ve never gone 9 hours without nursing or pumping before! So I came downstairs, pumped, and then got back in bed with Brock and Ronan, where I slept for another two hours.
I feel like a million bucks.
I wish it was Christmas every day.
Updates and Replies
No post yesterday. I didn’t feel up to it.
Today, however, is pretty great. I had this huge outpouring of support from my “unattainable dreams” post, it that has made the biggest difference. I can’t even begin to say. I want to reply to every single comment, and that would be silly to do in comments (I don’t even know if people have noticed that I always reply – does it notify you?) so I’m going to do it here in my post.
Also, I installed a captcha plug-in to stop SPAM messages, but it stops people from being able to comment. If you can’t comment, email me at mandy at tempestbeauty dot com and let me know. I will try to get it fixed, perhaps try a new captcha thingy.
In other news, this is how yesterday went.
Nap from 10 am until 12pm – 2 hour naps… SO NICE for mum.
Nap from 2pm until 3pm – 50 minute nap is typical.
Nap from 5pm until 6pm – Kept him up longer than usual, and let him have a short LATE nap.
Bath, lotion, story at 8:30pm – Nearly an HOUR later than his usual bed time.
Sleep at 9pm.
He woke up at 10, and fell right back asleep. Woke at 11 and nursed… but DIDN’T GET UP.
He woke every 2-3 hours to nurse, but he stayed in bed ALL NIGHT. I consider that a success!! A small one, but success none the less!
Now, on to the replies. They will come in order.
Kristin: First of all, I love you and I miss you. You really should come visit me and meet my son. Soon please. Where are the crackers?? Anyways… we have tried skipping naps before… seems to make him more tired, and harder to put to sleep. Brock thinks it works, I think it doesn’t. We’ll have to try it again. 
Lindsay W: I can’t even tell you how right you are! And how much your support means. Thank you.
Stacey: We went through a few weeks of trying to figure out if it was medical, and the doctor eventually told us he thinks it’s entirely behavioral, we’ve spoiled him, and that we just need to let him cry it out. I don’t, however, take parenting advice from pediatricians, only medical advice. I take parenting advice from parents that have the same parenting attitudes as I do… and well behaved kids. I’m glad to hear it gets better… at least I still have that to look forward to.
Alena: We tried the later bedtime! We’re gonna try it again tonight, see if it continues to work. Thank you!
Holly: PLEASE keep reading and commenting! It’s MORE than okay! This is EXACTLY why I’m doing this… to help other moms realize that parenting problems are universal, and to get help with problems that I have. Thank you SO much for what you’ve said. You made my heart feel better. I LOVE that Kai still comes to sleep with you… and I will be totally happy if Ronan does the same thing. I imagine those early morning cuddles being one of the best parts of your day. And, yes. Last week was amazing. I couldn’t remember how amazing it felt to have that much sleep every night. Brock and I even stopped bickering over stupid things. I miss it already.
Beth: Of course you are right. Sucking it up is a learning process… and I suck at it so far.
Gemma: You are totally awesome. I started doing that the other night. It makes him scream, and get mad, but I just have to be more stubborn than he is. Once we lie down, we’re down for good. It’s been working
Wulf: Thanks.
Cate: We’re trying! You’re right, I totally miss those few hours… but, again, you’re RIGHT! We weren’t getting them anyways! We were just battling. Guest room… yeah. Sometimes I don’t mind. Sometimes… I could spit.
Michelle: I just love you. Thanks for understanding so well. I really needed the judgement free support. You are exactly right… sometimes you just need to vent, and it doesn’t help to get trashed on for doing it. Brock is such an amazing daddy… he just doesn’t seem as able to deal with the shitty stuff. But he steps up to the plate when it’s his turn. And I love him for it.
Dahnya: We have an unusual situation… because Brock DOES work M-F 8-5. So he has to get up early every morning. And when I work, I work Saturday and Sunday overnight shifts. Which means that 2 nights a week, Brock DOES have to deal with the baby. Alone. Because I’m at work. And the shitty part of that deal is, the two nights that he’s dealing with the baby where I could POTENTIALLY get some sleep, I’m at work instead. So I never get those two nights of great sleep, and he still feels like he’s working his crapper off with the baby. I can’t be upset, because I know how hard it must be for him when I’m gone – at least when I’m home and dealing with the baby, if it gets to be too much, I have him there to help. He doesn’t have that. 
He also doesn’t agree with crying it out, and I’m thankful for that. Most of our parenting choices are made together, and we stick to them together. Thank you for your support. So much.
And really, in the end, just THANK YOU to all of you. You are so amazing, and so supportive, and I don’t know how I could make it through some days without knowing there are people out there who just care. Thank you.