Ronan’s first birthday party was today.  All of our very best and most wonderful friends came.  I was so so very worried about it for NOTHING at all.  It was amazing, and I think everyone had a great time.  Short of a few birthday boy melt-downs, it couldn’t have gone better.

Here are some pictures of our Ronan’s big day.

Ronan LOVES balloons!

Sweet Farah!

Walkin’ man and his birthday balloons.

Our party guests – so many amazing people.  (The other half were in the kitchen.)

Do you see anything wrong with this picture?  Let me give you a hint… helium balloon + candle = FAIL.

Balloon popped and scared him silly.  He cried until he tasted the icing.

“Hmm.  This is pretty good actually.”

“This gets it to my mouth faster.”

WIN.

Quick bath, wardrobe change, and BACK in the party!

Hooray!  Presents!

Thank you SO much to everyone who came!  Until next year…

… unless you let your son fall and smash his face open the day before his first birthday party.

I am a GREAT mom.

I came home from work and found this one on my camera.  I’ll bet you that this makes your day.  So far, it’s made mine twice already.  LOVE!

Have you ever heard the saying, “How come anyone driving faster than you is a maniac, but anyone driving slower is an idiot?”

I used to drive long distances all the time.  I got to really enjoy the ride.  But what I also noticed is I was either passing, or being passed… and I never saw someone going the same speed as me.  It didn’t take me long to figure out that the reason I never met anyone going my speed was because people going the same speed as me were staying the same relative distance away from me… we were traveling parallel to each other and never intersecting.  So even though I knew I could only see the people that would speed by me, or the people I would leave behind – I knew the other drivers were out there.  I could picture them in my head, and I was not alone at my speed.

This is my metaphor for parenting.

You see, it doesn’t matter ONE BIT what choice you make in your parenting spectrum; there will be those far more radical than you, and those that think you are far too radical yourself.

I realized this the other day when Ronan was spitting yogurt out after every bite.  My instinct was to smack him on the mouth and tell him no, but I didn’t, instead I just took the yogurt away.  When I did this, I pictured myself in a public area, and thought about the reaction of other parents.  I KNOW there would be someone that would think to themselves, “I can’t believe she let her child get away with that.  If that were MY son, I would have smacked him on the mouth!”  And quite opposite of that, had I chosen to smack his mouth in punishment, there would be the parent that would be thinking, “I can’t believe she just smacked her child on the mouth.  Who would hit their child over something so trivial?  She could have just taken the yogurt away!”

And it’s this way of thinking that made me realize: it doesn’t matter what I choose to do, I will never make everyone happy.  Instead, I just have to make sure I’m doing what I know is right.  To be a mom, you don’t just have to be smart, loving, and patient; you also have to have thick skin.  The mothers out there that would do exactly what I did?  Chances are, I wont meet them easily, because they wont be the ones making waves.  They’ll be the ones just like me, keeping their heads down, being proud of their choices, and accepting others for what they choose to do as well.

I know I write a lot of posts about parenting.  It’s really on my mind all the time.  I’ll try to lighten up a bit, but I thought this was a little too cool to not share.

I totally can’t let this go.

Last week, I was visiting with some friends and having a great time.  There was me, Ronan, my two friends, and their sister with her 4 month old.  The two friends are married and pregnant, and I sometimes feel it is my duty to impart bits of wisdom that will help a new mom in ways that I was completely clueless after having my first.  You know, little things that no one remembers to tell you, and when you’re going through it yourself you wonder, “Why didn’t anyone tell me this?!”

At one point, I looked down at Ronan who was being a little pill and remarked, “No one will ever tell you how hard it is.  I mean, I had no idea how utterly and completely difficult it would be.”

My pregnant friend said, “I’m sure they TRY, but you don’t really understand what they’re talking about until you’re going through it.”

“Very true!” I agreed.

Her sister, holding her sweet 4 month old baby, said, “Yeah.  It’s so hard in the beginning.  But it’s gotten easy now.  It’s not really hard any more.”

I’m not kidding, I think I did a double-take.  Not hard any more?

I honestly can’t remember a time when it wasn’t hard.  It surely wasn’t when Ronan was 4 months old and teething.  It’s not even NOW, when he’s trying to be all independent and grown up.  It’s still hard as crap.  I still have days where I can’t believe how hard it is, and nights where I don’t want to have to deal with how hard it is.

I try to give myself the benefit of the doubt.  I still don’t get to sleep all night.  I still have to work full time hours.  My shift is horrible, and throws off my rhythm all week.  But, between you and me, I think I have a pretty good kid.  He’s even tempered, he takes good naps, he plays all alone like a pro; despite all of this, there are times when I just wish it were easier.  Today, we’ve only been up for an hour, and he’s already made me want to pull my hair out three times.

He wanted a bottle, so I gave it to him.  He took three big sucks off of the bottle, and then spit it out all over the couch.  Then he used the bottle like a pen, and drew all over the black leather in sticky milk.

I finished my bowl of cereal, but I don’t really like to drink the milk out of the bottom.  Ronan crawled over and asked for some, and I told him it was all gone.  He got mad and put his hand into the bowl and splashed it around.  I told him, “No, Ronan!  You don’t do that!”  He looked me straight in my face and started screaming.  I love a good temper tantrum early in the morning.

I picked him up and brought him into the bedroom for a nap, because it was obvious he was having a little trouble.  I laid him down, sat next to him, and started patting his back.  He laid there calmly for about 5 minutes, and then started tossing, turning, squirming and screaming.  I kept him down for about 15 more minutes before giving up.

Now, we are back out in the living room, where I put on Finding Nemo so I could have 15 minutes of quiet time.  He’s drinking out of his straw cup, where he’ll take 5 or 6 big swallows, and then he’ll spit the next two out.  Sometimes, it’s all I can do to keep my patience.

So, I don’t know if it’s her, and she’s just putting up a good front because the fun stuff is fun, or if perhaps she has the perfect baby and it ISN’T hard for her anymore… or it it’s just me, and I’m a terrible mom because I find this to be the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life.  And I don’t see it getting any easier any time soon.

Just a fun little video of Brock and Ronan playing ‘Catch’.

I have done everything possible in the last hour to avoid writing a blog.

I don’t even know why.  There is NOTHING coming to my mind about what I would like to write about today.

Then I realized that I could celebrate a breakthrough last night.  Only I don’t want to jinx it.  I’ll just put it succinctly… I got some sleep last night.  And Ronan did too.  That’s all I’m going to say about it for now.

Birthday party anxiety is ramping up.  Way up.  So far, I have 14 people RSVP’d and are coming to my tiny little house.  My tiny, little, dirty house.  I’m planning on working on that today – you know, since I’m all rested up.

What does any of this have to do with the title of my blog?  I love it when Ronan is napping.  I swear, God invented naps to preserve mothers’ sanity.  I could genuflect over naps alone.

Goals for today?

• New baby gate at Target
• Kitchen tidied and cleaned.
• Floors swept/mopped.
• Living room tidied.
• Laundry DONE!
• Bonus goal: Clean master bathroom.
• Bonus goal: Clean and organize baby room.

I’ll admit, my expectations for today are a little unrealistic, but why not aim high?  We’re getting the trip to Target out of the way early.

And right here, I’d like to do a little celebratory dance… just days from my son’s first birthday, we FINALLY have him paid off.  *dance*

Another Valentine’s Day has come and gone.

This is one holiday that I have no particular like nor dislike for.  I don’t look forward to it… I usually forget about it until the week before.  I don’t really WANT or EXPECT anything for Valentine’s day, and am always lovingly surprised when my husband does something wonderful.

This year, he wrote a letter.  Yes, ladies and gents, he HAND WROTE a love letter.  He left it sitting by the front door, and I read it as soon as I walked in from work.  I had a hard time getting to the bottom of the page because I had started crying.  Yup, he wrote a whole page about how much he loves me.

Isn’t it funny, though?  Just two weeks ago, it was all we could do not to yell at each other every day.  We didn’t even want to spend time together if given the choice, because we just kept ending up at odds.

People always say relationships change.  I read once that passion is like the tide… it ebbs and flows.  The older I get, and the more we go through difficult times together, the more I realize that those things are really true.  Yes, there are days when we can’t stand the sight of each other.  Yes, there are times when we don’t really seem to want the same things.  And yes, there are really moments when the relationship seems in vain and we can’t figure out what we’re doing.

But.

But there are times when things are so wonderful, when all we want is to be together, and the kisses are amazing, and the sex is unbelievable… times when we talk, and cuddle, and never get enough.  Those times make everything else so worth it.  They make the rest of the days worth putting up with.  We find ourselves going out of our way to make the other person happy.  Everything just fits.

I love my husband so much today.  I love him every day, but today I know that our love can last forever, even though a week ago I questioned it.  And days like today will help remind me that even though sometimes things are bad, we will always be okay.

Check out this video.  It’s pretty fun.

I have been terrible about uploading pictures lately, so here is a nice little picture post.

Ronan likes to snack while laying on his back.

This is the face he makes when I use the flash now.

Look at that sweet face!

You see this huge grin?  It’s because he has the power plug.  He tried to put it in his mouth, and I told him “NO!” firmly.

Then he looked like this:

A pout?  You ain’t seen NOTHING yet.

Have you ever seen anything so sad?  It breaks your heart.  Woah, baby.