How Well Do I Know My Son?

I have been reading, lately.

Reading and reading and reading.  Blogs upon blogs.  Thousands of words.

I have read nearly the whole archive of Maddie, both ups and downs, great joy and utter despair.

I have followed the Countdown To Poppy’s 1st Birthday with laughter and smiles.

Layla Grace, Anissa, Cate, and Nic… such a small sampling of the blogs I enjoy.

Moms that know their children so well.  That lovingly describe every detail of their lives.  They know the essence of their children, their personalities and quirks.  I studied Ronan this morning, wondering why I didn’t know him so thoroughly.

If something were ever to happen to him, what would I remember?  Or years from now, when I look back, what will I have forgotten?

I would remember his blue eyes; so startlingly blue with the longest, blackest eyelashes you’ve ever seen.

I would remember his crooked grin, the smirk he gives when he’s trying SO hard no to smile.

I could never forget his giggle.  That little belly laugh that can’t keep itself in.

His love for his daddy.  His whole face lights up when daddy gets home from work.  The room gets brighter.

I think about his serious expression, and how intently he learns.  He watches, observes, soaks everything in.

He doesn’t like to share his emotions.  He’ll play serious instead, until he can’t hold it any longer, and bust out his big-teeth smile.

I would remember his love of hugs, how he holds so tightly; I adore his little hand that pats you on the back.

His temper!  My sweet angel boy has a temper to be reckoned with.  And when something doesn’t go right, he isn’t afraid to let everyone know.

I love how Ronan mimics sounds, but not words.  He can pitch perfect imitate the meow of our cat, and his “whistling” abilities are spot on… but we still don’t have a first real word.

I will always remember how much Ronan loves to ‘help’ me with the laundry.  He’ll pick up a few articles of clothes, and carry them so proudly around the room, turning and bunching them as he ‘folds’ them for mommy.

Ronan can sit through a movie better than some kids twice his age.  He’s got focus!

My sweet, rare, cherished kisses.  So few and far between, so special because of it.

How he chatters when I get him up from his nap. I like to think he’s telling me about his dreams.

It hit me, finally, that there isn’t much I DON’T know about him.

I know my little boy.  I know his attitudes, his likes, his fears.  I can already see the man he is becoming in my mind.  He changes so quickly, and I have to adjust, to learn what’s new, to try to keep up with him.  But I know my boy – no longer my baby – almost as well as I know myself.

And that’s a comforting thing.

What Will Make Me Read Your Blog.

Marilyn from ALotOfLoves wrote a great post called “What Will Make Me Read Your Blog Post” and it honestly made me stop and think about how I post.  Sometimes it’s not good enough just to write whatever you want.  I had never really put much thought into my posts before, but this opened my eyes.

Here were her bullet points on the blogs she chooses to read:

  1. Comment on my Blog: Before I read any other blogs, I read and comment on the blogs of those who commented on mine.
  2. Keep it Short: I do most of my blog reading in short bursts throughout the day crammed in between playing with my kids, calming tantrums and making lunch. I rarely have the patience to slog through a massive manifesto. My patience usually lasts about 500 words, longer than that and I tend to start skim-reading. An occasional lengthy post is fine (after all there are some topics that require length), but if every single post is a novel, I will usually find I don’t have the time.
  3. Photos are Nice: Including some pictures can really help add some interest. If I am browsing a new-to-me blog, I will often skim the pictures first. If the pictures catch my eye, I’ll stop and read the text.  (Note: I’m breaking my own rule here by not posting any pictures. Rules are made to be broken…Except #4)
  4. Post Something Worth Reading: I’ve recently run across a few blogs where the blogger had a case of writer’s block. They literally posted a series of “I’ve got nothing to say” posts. I would rather that the blogger didn’t publish anything than post that. After the third “nothing to say” post, I deleted them from my reader. Writer’s block sucks and sometimes life isn’t fascinating. Not every post is going to be a winner, but if I’m going to spend my time reading a blog, I would like the writer to at least show they made an attempt at writing something interesting or useful.
  5. Please Use Paragraphs: I am not a writing expert. I know without a doubt that I make some errors when I write. I’m sure most people would agree that poor grammar, or misspelled words are irritating. They bug me too. But I have to say that the thing that bothers me the most when reading is a total lack of paragraphs. Nothing dulls my mind faster than looking at a vast expanse of text with no breaks in sight. I would rather someone use too many paragraphs than not enough so go ahead and hit that ‘Enter’ key.

There is some really great stuff in there!  I mean it.  I have a lot of trouble with #2.  I tend to be wordy like crazy.  But I now keep length in mind when writing, instead of just noticing how much I’ve written at the end.  Paragraphs are also a BIG thing for me.  If I come to read your blog, I want to be able to see a little bit of ‘white space’ between words.  One big wall of text is hard to dive into, and more often than not, I wont bother.  Also, I’m a big sucker for 3.  I am just as guilty of scrolling through a whole series of blogs to see pictures, and they’ll keep me around faster than a great post.

I wanted to see if I had a few rules of my own to add.  Here’s what I came up with:

  1. Have an “About Me” page. When I go to a blog for the first time, I will read the most recent post, and then click on the “About Me.”  If I find myself interested in the author, and have any sort of connection, I will subscribe immediately.  I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I want to know a bit about ya.
  2. Don’t OVERWHELM your front page with adds, buttons, links and other mishmash.  I have clicked through to countless blogs because of an interesting title or a good recommendation, and not been able to get my brain past the massive onrush of information thrown at me.  You may be the best writer in the world, but you’re drowning it in crap.  My own blog may be a bit TOO simple, but I try to reflect what I like.
  3. Blog with some level of consistency. I don’t care if you only write once a month, or if you write every single day of the week.  But writing every day for a month, and then nothing for several weeks causes me to wonder, “Who is this again?” when I come across your latest work in my reader.

I would really have to sit and focus to think of more than this.  Honestly, I have a hard time with how many blogs I’ve subscribed to already, because I try to comment on everything that I read.  The world of blogging is FAR more vast than I had ever imagined, but it’s also filled with a great number of incredible people.  I like to spread the love.  I want to read what you have to say, and I want you to do the same for me.  It’s all good.

What makes you stick with a certain blogger?  How do you decide who to keep reading?

Happy Blogiversary!

I just realized that on the 15th, my little blog has been live for one whole month.

I’ve had a lot of fun with it so far.  I hope that I can keep it up.  I find myself thinking about my daily adventures and how they can translate into a good post.  So far, today, I’ve got nothing.  I’m being entirely domestic.  Grocery shopping is already done, fridge is cleaned out, baby is down for a nap, diapers are in the wash, and baby clothes are almost done in the dryer.  Maybe need to wash some mommy-daddy clothes today too.  I think I’m out of underwear.

I’m sitting in the floor, eating a cup of oatmeal because it’s the first thing I’ve had to eat today.  I got up and rushed to Game Stop to pick up a ‘new release’ game for Brock, and didn’t have time to eat.  Then, when I stopped at Starbucks to get a Vivanno Strawberry Banana smoothie, they didn’t have any bananas.  I asked the lady if she could just make me a strawberry smoothie, and I was duly informed that it wouldn’t be any good, because the consistency wouldn’t be right; it would just be all foamy.  So I said ‘thanks, have a nice day’ and left.  But what I was really thinking is Damn Starbucks always lets me down when I need it the most.

The baby dishes are sitting in the sink waiting to be washed.  My kitchen floor needs to be mopped, and the living room needs to be vacuumed.  Ooops, there goes the dryer.  Better get back to work.

Speaking of work… I have to work a 12 tomorrow.  Such is the life of a stay-at-home-full-time-working mom.

I Just Want To Cuss.

Upon deciding that I would create a ‘real’ blog, I also decided that it was important for me to commit to writing every single day.  That is one of the few things that has been missing in my previous endeavors as a blogger.  And then, I always get to the point where I’ve had a horrible day, and I don’t want to write, and I have to do it anyways.

Could you hear the whining tone?

But I’m going to write anyways!  Since today has actually been a great day, despite getting in a huge fight with my husband over absolutely nothing. Ronan had his second chiropractor appointment, and it was amazing.  She adjusted his neck again, and he just lay there and let her do it!  It was as though he knew that it was going to make him feel better.  We came home and immediately had a 2 hour nap.  One of the best one’s ever.  And I got SO much done!

I have some ideas for this blog.  Some quite stolen from other blogs, and some semi-original ideas.  I want to write letters to Ronan.  I WILL keep them separately, but put them up here.  I also want to post old blogs from my Xanga – I think I’ve written some amazing things, and they shouldn’t just die in the Xanga archives.  I’ll try to intersperse them with regular blogs.  I also want to post pictures that I’ve taken, as you may have seen.  Most of all, I would like for my writing to improve, and the only way for that to happen is just to simply write and write and write.

Have I ever said before that I love Sandra Bullock?  Well, I do.

Work In Progress

Yeah, it really is just that.  The real question is, who knows how long it will continue to be in progress for?

The hardest part about a venture like this is that I spend a few hours every day working on this website, and only a few short minutes of that is something actually enjoyable.  Like writing.  It’s taking a lot longer than I really thought it would to get everything figured out.  Right now, I’m just using a pre-made layout, and Brock really wants me to have my own designed and worked up.  That seems like a whole lot of effort to me.  I’d love to try to make this as easy as possible.

The Chiropractor thing?  Seems to totally have been a success.  Ronan has slept better in the last 3 nights than he has in months.  That doesn’t mean that he’s been perfect by any stretch of the imagination – but there has been improvement.  It really feels like, no matter what, as long as things might be getting better, I can deal with it.  It was that downward spiral that seemed to continue to slowly degrade into nothingness that was completely soul crushing.

Speaking of soul crushing, work is so difficult to handle.  Brock and I had this huge discussion the other day about how overwhelming it seemed to think about having another baby when our house is in a constant state of turmoil.  I pointed out to him rather forcefully that I could be a mom, work full time, and clean the house – but he can ONLY have two of the three at any given time.  So if he wants to have a clean house, and keep his son, the job needs to go.  And if he wants me to keep working (and keep his son!) we need to hire someone to help us clean.  Really, giving away the kid isn’t so much of an option – although I’ve had offers!

I’m stressed out to the max, and I think it’s making me lose my milk.  That stresses me out more.  But things shall get better, I am sure.  Because that’s what they do.  They get worse and worse until I think we can’t take it any more… and then they get better.  I might just repeat that to myself a few times, until I actually believe it.

The Real Day One.

I have created my very own blog.
It is still in its infancy.  I get to sit here, on the floor in my living room with my laptop on the couch seat, and work on my project while my son is napping.  My son, by the way, is Ronan.  The worlds most wonderful baby, that is actually quite horrible sometimes.  Right now, I need to get my layout, design ideas and everything together.  I want to get some advertisements on my page.  Ugh.  (I know, right?)  But the idea is that perhaps, someday, my writing and my passions will allow me to be a stay at home mom.

I love to read blogs.  Other people love to read blogs.  Why not mine?

I took Ronan to the chiropractor today.  My husband, Brock, thinks chiropract-y(?) is a racket.  We’ll see.  If he sleep better tonight, then maybe it will have been worth it.

On with the blog ideas.  I’m going to post pictures regularly, because I LOVE to photograph my son, and just about everything else in my life.  I’d like to touch on topics that are serious, as well as blabber on inanely about my day.  We’ll see how it turns out in the end.