So, I’m upset and I was going to sit and write an email.   Then I realized that I hadn’t posted a blog in several days, which is unacceptable, so I decided to write a blog instead.

Why am I upset?

I have spent the last two and a half years of my life as the happy female half of a wonderful couple.  My husband is a ‘gamer’ in that he loves video games, and spends as much time playing as he can get away with.  However, he’s always been reasonable about his playing time, and has never really left me feeling like I wasn’t getting to spend enough time with him.  Until recently.  I have discovered that the only reason I wasn’t a gamer-widow more often was because my husband didn’t have a computer that allowed him to play as frequently or for as long as he wanted.

Then he got a new PC for Christmas.

I now remember why I always swore to myself that I would never get involved with a man that played video games again.

What really breaks my heart is that I had such a great Christmas, and want to post about our holiday, our gifts, and all the wonderful pictures that I took… but all I can think about is how much it sucks that my husband wants to sit upstairs on his computer and play.   Better yet, instead of wanting to come downstairs for a while, he wants to baby-proof the UPSTAIRS, and have Ronan and I go up there with him.   Because sitting next to him while he’s completely absorbed in a game is JUST as good as spending quality time with him anywhere else in the house.

Hold on, I forgot to hold up my “sarcasm” sign.

This morning, when I got up with Ronan, the boy whom had just spent the most HORRIBLE nights sleep in bed with me, Brock asked me if I wanted him to get up instead so they could let me sleep.   Only I figured out this trick… the one where he says he’s going to get up, but instead lets Ronan stay up and play in bed with us until I get mad and tell them to leave.  After that, he brings Ronan back into the room any time he’s fussy or tired, so I don’t get any real sleep.   Today, I said no instead, and told Brock to sleep in so I could have a good nap in the afternoon before my midnight shift.

Ronan and I got up at 7:00.  Brock got up at 9.  I was watching my Christmas present, P.S. I love you, when he got out of bed.  I knew he had no interest in watching it with me for the third time, so he went upstairs to his computer.   I put Ronan down for a nap at 10.  My movie ended at 10:30.  Ronan woke up at 12:00 (blessed 2 hour naps!), and Brock was still up on his computer.   At 1:00, I had decided that it was time for me to have a nap, and asked if Brock was planning on coming down “any time today?”   He finished his game, told his buddies that he had to go, and then came downstairs.   I said that I wanted to sleep for a few hours, and went to the guest room so baby naps wouldn’t wake me.  I woke up at 4:30, and got in the shower for work.

The whole point of that WHOLE paragraph?   Brock and I spent exactly ZERO time together today.   It has just begun, and it’s already starting to REALLY get to me.

What’s even more, this is our evening text conversation:

7:17pm – Me – I love you.

8:15pm – Me – Where are you?

8:16pm – Brock – I love you. Ronan is being mad.

8:16pm – Me – Oh no Did you give him oatmeal?

11:23pm – Me – Are you playing on your computer?

12:01am – Brock – Kinda. Been in and out of the bed room a lot.

12:01am – Me – Baby troubles?

12:28am – Me – Are you gone to bed?

12:36am – Me – I wish you would answer me. I worry when you don’t. I love you and I hope you aren’t having a bad night.

1:12am – Me – I guess I’m just gonna assume you gont tired and fell asleep. I’ll see you in the morning.

3:07am – Brock – Going to bed now. Love you.

Ok, seriously?  I know games are mad fun and shit, but it doesn’t take THAT LONG to answer a text.  This is an inside joke, and you will not get it, but ALL I’M ASKING FOR IS A LITTLE CONSIDERATION.

I know it’s new, and the shiny fun-ness of it will probably wear off.  I’m just hoping the fun-ness goes away before all of my patience does.

Aren’t we funny sometimes?

Dad and I went out last night, and were looking for some movies or TV seasons to buy and watch.  As we were walking through Target, we found a couple things each of us might want.  I was looking at the complete collection of Sex and The City.  It was on sale at Target for $99.99  which is actually really good.  Dad asked me if I wanted him to buy it for me.  I laughed, and said, “No, dad, you don’t have to buy me anything.”

He said, “Your mother and I want to get you something, Mand.  We WANT to get you a gift for Christmas.”

The funny thing is, I consider them being HERE my Christmas present.  And yet, I still want to get THEM the perfect gift.  Even though Brock has gotten a new computer, and we have a new TV, I feel like I really need to get him a gift.  Something sweet, and thoughtful. I haven’t once thought about something that I want, or something I would like someone to get for me.  Above all else, I want everyone to get something for Ronan – clothes, books, and movies.  I know he wont know whether or not he gets things, or how much, but I so much want this to be a great Christmas for him.  It wont bother me if I don’t open a single gift on Christmas day.

I want to buy and buy and buy for everyone.  I love to wrap gifts, and I love to see people open what I get them.  Strangely, though, I always have a really difficult time thinking of ‘thoughtful’ gifts to get everyone.  I find myself wondering, every year, what to get and how much to spend.  It’s so stressful, and really I just want it to be fun.

I haven’t decorated at all, and I wish I could do that, too.  Finances just wont allow.  Maybe next year?

I’m just thankful my family is here, everyone is having a wonderful time, and I get to share my son with my parents.  That is the best gift I could have asked for.

So.

My parents are coming to visit.

They are FINALLY going to get to meet my son.

Yes, it has been 9 months.

Yes, I can hardly believe they haven’t been here yet.

YES, I know they are going to fall head over heels in love with them.

No, I’m not really mad that this is the first trip.  I did want them to come a long time ago, and I’m not really sure why they haven’t.  But I decided way back then that it has been them who has missed out more than me.  I hope I hope I hope that they will have such a good time on this trip, it wont be such an ordeal to get them to come visit next time.

I’m starting to get so excited it makes me feel giddy.  They are going to be here in 3 days!  THREE DAYS!  I don’t even know what to do!  I have to clean the guest room, and wash the sheets, and go grocery shopping.

I get to pick them up from the airport at 5 pm Monday.

I can’t wait!!