Busy busy.

I don’t know where to begin.

It’s Thursday already.  Where does the time go?

I have to work again on Saturday.  I feel like I just got home, and already it’s time to go back.

We had a wonderful week.  Lots of outside/park time, tons if inside family time.  Meals at the dinner table.  A bunch of cuddles and fun.

Little things make me happy right now.

Today, I had a shower before Ruby got up, and I got to do things like shave my legs and clip my toenails.

Ruby is pooping every day.  That, my friends, is a victory worth celebrating.

Ronan has little boy bruises all over his legs.  Each one is like a trophy.

Ruby smiles every time she sees her daddy.

I love watching Tangled.  Ronan loves it too.

When Ronan gives a big hug, he pats you on the back.  It seriously kills me.

Ruby finally likes the swing.  Things have actually gotten done around the house this week.

We have ants.  A little thing that makes me UNhappy.  Also, it’s impossible to keep all food off the floor with a toddler.

Ruby has woken up 16 times in the time it has taken me to write out this jumble of thoughts.  I should probably go to bed.

Also?  I love breastfeeding and co-sleeping with my babe.

Yeah, it’s the small things.

 

 

 

 

 

Ronan is 2 years and 2 months old, Ruby is 2 months old.

Thoughts on Tuesday

It is 5:55 am.

I have been awake for a few hours.   I made a good ol’ attempt to fall back asleep, and short of that I decided to get out of bed and eat something.

I didn’t eat very well yesterday.

I can hear Ronan coughing in his room, and it’s breaking my heart.  My throat hurts so badly I don’t want to swallow, and I know he feels just as sick as I do – but he can’t tell us.

We have had a bed time breakthrough. (Thanks to Brock!)

Apparently, we thought we were being good parents by going and checking on Ronan every 20-30 minutes after we put him in bed, despite his having difficulty falling asleep.  We didn’t want him to think he was alone, or that we didn’t care.  We would offer him a drink, a snack, a diaper change and a cuddle.

Apparently, children as  young as 23 months are able to manipulate their parents into giving them a reason to stay awake.  As of Sunday night, when he is put in bed, we do not go in again.  As of LAST night, his 2-3 hour bed time sleep battle lasted a short 25 minutes.  When he realized we weren’t coming in, he stopped playing and yelling, and he went to sleep.

Win.

My baby girl changed positions last night.  She’s always been laying down my right side with her feet at the left.  Now her bottom is straight up the center, and I don’t know where her feet are.  Suddenly, my belly feels weird.  Things are changing!

I haven’t gotten much in order since the last time I shared any updates.  I started taping off the moulding in the baby room so I could paint it PINK!  I say PINK! because it’s not a calm, quiet little pink.  Baby, that pink is PINK!  I still want to hand paint flowers on the wall, so I have to get around to that as well.

I packed a birthing bag.  One step in the right direction!

My midwife visit yesterday was rescheduled to today.  I always look forward to them, even though they are weekly now – which seems VERY frequent.

Today… TODAY we find out if Ronan got in to the 2-year program at the preschool down the street!  I am very excited!  Classes don’t start until September, but it would be great if he got a spot.

Mom and Dad bought their plane tickets.  They get here on the 16th of February.  My due date, in case you have forgotten, is the 12th of February.  It has added a whole new level of joy and anxiety to everything.  What if I haven’t had her by then?!  What if I don’t have her before they LEAVE??

No!  We still don’t have a name picked out.  HONESTLY.

Man.  Writing all this stuff out really helps.

I am really, really happy lately.  In love with my life.  I am enjoying every moment, and looking forward to the future.  I don’t write words like that very often… and it feels really nice.

~~~

I am 38 weeks and 3 days pregnant, and Ronan is 23 months old.

Countdown.

I’m finding it harder and harder to believe how little time we have left before this baby girl arrives.  I’m also thinking very optomistically – 40 weeks or further.  Realistically, if I go before then, I have less time than I am banking on.

Ronan woke last night at 4:30 am.  I left him in his room and watched him on the video monitor, hoping that he would just go back to sleep.  He mewled and tossed and turned for a while.  Then he sat up and signed, “Help please.”  So I went up to his room and asked him what he needed.  He said, “Down!” and signed “food.”

I brought him downstairs to try to find something in the house I could feed him.  We settled for crackers and a cup of milk.  I brought him back to his bed, laid him down and said goodnight.  He went back to sleep immediately.

I went back to bed and laid wide awake for nearly two hours.

My mind stirs and stirs, and I can’t think of a way to make it stop.  I have a huge mental list of everything I’d like to do, and the worst problem is that I KNOW I can do all of it… I just never get started.  I need to get better at getting started.

For the first time this pregnancy (and maybe ever) I decided to get up and do something, rather than sit and fume in bed.  So I rolled out at nearly 7 am, made a cup of tea, and got to work.  I did the dishes, cleaned the counters, organized the pantry and drawers, cleaned out the fridge, and started to hand mop the floor.  When Brock and Ronan got up, I made cheesy eggs and ham for everyone.

I don’t feel like I ever really nested with Ronan, but I’m hoping this energy and desire to get things done continues right up until when she comes!

We still haven’t started working on the nursery project yet, but that’s slated for Thursday.  I told Brock today that all I want is to have the house completely cleaned, carpets done and bedrooms switched before she gets here.  The rest is just details.

I also joined a 365 photo project for the first time!  I’m going to try to post my 7 pictures for the week every Saturday.  This is going to be a challenge for me, because the only thing I do reliably every day is sleep, and even sometimes I don’t manage to do that.

This post is a little all over the place, but oh well.  That’s how my brain feels lately.  Work tomorrow!  I’ve had my spirits boulstered by thinking about how many weekends I have left to work until she comes, rather than weeks themselves.  It’s the little things that help get me through.

I am 34 weeks and 3 days pregnant.  Ronan is 22 months old.

Short and Sweet.

… and totally adorable.

I wont write much in this post either!

Hah.  Ronan is sitting next to me, entirely naked and still wet from a mid-afternoon bath he requested.  Of course, he’s playing with his wiener.  No diaper? That’s okay, there’s a toy between your legs!  Boys.

Let me say, quickly, that one should never expect the best case scenario when planning for a difficult situation.  I worked last night, and assumed Ronan would sleep in late today as he did yesterday.  Nope.  Up at seven.  I thought, “Maybe he’ll take a four hour nap today, like he did yesterday!”  Nope.  Two teeny hours.  My sweet sitter is sick, and I figured staying awake with Ronan wouldn’t be that difficult.  Um.

If you’ve had any dealings with me today, I apologize.  I am showing more crazy than normal.  I blame the lack of sleep.

Also?  The poor kid got my vomit bug on Saturday night.  And poor Brock was up with him until nearly midnight, catching him and holding him every time he threw up, cleaning up after him, brushing his teeth, and trying to get him to drink something.  It has not been a good month for us.

On the up side, we’re both feeling better.  I’d love for that to stick around for a while.

Also again! I went to a friend’s Mother’s Blessing-style baby shower on Saturday… and I brought my camera.  Turns out, I was the only one who brought a camera, so I spent a lot of time trying to capture the afternoon.  We had SO much fun.   Never underestimate the value of having a kid free afternoon with a bunch of other moms.

Anyhow… when it came time to send her the pictures I had taken… man, it was nervewracking!  I’ve never had that feeling before.  Will she like them?  Did I do a good job?  Will she pretend to like them?  HA!  It must be more stressful than I imagined to be a professional photographer.

And.  That’s all I’ve got for today.

Except… if you read my blog… Thank you.  I love you, and appreciate your support.  I don’t know if I’ve ever said that before, and decided I should.

So thanks.

A Whole Lot Of Random.

It’s been quite a few days since I’ve written, and that leaves me where it usually does… a whole lot of stuff to say, and no idea what to actually SAY.

I got 9.5 hours of sleep last night, and I feel like a million bucks.

I had some contractions…okay, lots of contractions the last couple of days that started behaving a little scary.  I tried not to get into my head about it, but I couldn’t get them to calm down.  Hot baths, epsom salts, lots of water and a ton of rest seemed to be the trick – chasing after a busy 20 month old proved to be a little too much this week.

I had a wonderful/amazing visit with Laura, the sweet friend that keeps Ronan for me while I’m working.  Sometimes it’s easy to forget how nice it is to have simple adult conversation with another human being, even when our kids are in the room being rowdy.

We appear to FINALLY be on the mend.  Ronan had a sinus infection, and he’s been on antibiotics for 5 days now.  YESTERDAY was the first day that we started to see some improvement.  Less coughing, no more green snot, and a little bit of an improvement in attitude.  I’m not gonna lie to ya, I’ve loved the last few days of sitting on the couch, snuggled together, watching movies… but I’m ready to get out of this place and DO STUFF.  Visit friends, play at the park before the good weather is gone, anything to get us out of this house!

Things are so up in the air right now, I don’t know for sure when they are going to settle down.  Next week is Thanksgiving(!) already, and I feel like I have a ton of time to get stuff done.  But really, I don’t.  I want to take a Christmas picture and send out cards, so I’m giving myself until December 1st to get that done.  We’ll see how it turns out.

In other news, I’m getting huge… and I’m okay with it.  I have to be honest with myself when I look in the mirror – 130lbs looks a whole lot better on me than 103.  I feel like I look younger, prettier, and less haggard.  I’m trying not to be too worried about how much weight I gain this time around (trying being the operative word there) because I know how much weight I lost nursing Ronan.  I don’t want to get that low again.

I am 27 weeks pregnant.  More than 2/3rds of the way to a new baby girl.  I’m excited.  I talk to her every day.  I have been doing a lot of visualization and mental planning for the labor/delivery, and I’m excited for that too.  Sometimes I feel like things are trying to wear me down, like I’m being drowned in the day to day… but life is good.

I am 27 weeks pregnant, and Ronan is in his final week of 20 months old.

Moments.

When Ronan wakes first thing in the morning, he wants to be held for a while.  And he gives kisses.  Lots of kisses.

Any moment when Ronan is asleep and I am awake.  Like right now.

Holding hands with my husband while we’re sitting on the couch enjoying a show together.

Walking out of the grocery store realizing it was a really good trip.

Waking up to hearing my boys laughing in the living room.

When I tell Ronan it’s nap time, and he starts heading up the stairs on his own.

Sleeping on clean sheets.

Each and every time Ronan comes out with a new, recognizable word.

Any diaper change that doesn’t involve screaming, kicking or rolling over.

Long showers that can involve shaving.  Or just standing there.

Watching Ronan on the monitor as he sits up, looks around, pulls his blanket up over his head, and lies down again.

Quiet conversations with Brock centered around cuddling.

Lying in bed at night the last few minutes before I fall asleep, laying both of my hands on my belly.  She never lets me down, this little girl.  She kicks me into oblivion.

I live for these moments.