Now that it is 2:04 in the morning, I’m going to make a post.

First, I’m going to apologize to Tom.  I’ve been pretty internet-rude lately, and I feel bad.  I know how it feels, and I’m sorry. :-/

Secondly, I’m a jealous, silly girl, and I know it, and I hate it.  I know that every time my husband talks with another girl online, I get really jealous.  I know that when I talk to other guys, he doesn’t care.  I know that’s not fair, and I know I need to do something about it.

When you look at that, it seems like I really know a lot.  But in actuality, I’m pretty stupid about it.  It’s one of those things that you know about yourself, and you hate about yourself, but you’re not really sure how to change.  Every time I try to imagine myself not being bothered by him chatting it up with some other girl, I get really angry.  That means I have to not care, and I cannot imagine myself not caring.  But on the other hand, does it mean I don’t trust him to be faithful?

I use the same old argument every time.  I met him online.  I know what it’s like to talk to him online.  I know how easy it is to like him, and how easy it is to LOVE him online.  I also can imagine it being very easy for someone else to feel that way about him.  I know very well that he wouldn’t do anything if it came to that, but I can’t help but get upset that it might.  Writing this out makes me feel a lot more stupid about it then it does to think about it.  Hopefully that will make some difference as to what I do about it.

I do trust him.  I do know that not every single girl out there is looking for a guy to fall in love with, and as a matter of fact, most of them don’t want anything to do with guys they meet online.  As he so often tells me, a good portion of them are overweight or obnoxious, or both.  This is a work in progress.  Jealousy is a very, very unattractive feature.  Maybe I need a little plastic surgery in that area.