I am going to write a review.

First: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Ok, on to the review.

I am going to review “Veet Bladeless Shaving System.”

You purchase a package that looks very similar to a regular shaving system.  The plastic package has a shaving cream shaped canister, and a razor blade shaped “tool.”  However, the shaving cream shaped canister does not contain shaving cream, it contains a dipilatory cream, intended to remove hair without the use of a blade.  The “tool” is meant to facilitate the removal of the dipilatory cream from the skin.

So, I spread this thick, gooey cream all over my leg, and look at the clock.  You’re supposed to wait 3 minutes minimum, 8 minutes maximum.  I figured I would only do one leg at a time, because if it took me longer than 8 minutes to do the first leg, the second one would be fucked. 
Now, I’m sitting here on the edge of my bathtub with a thick, white, foul smelling cream all over my leg, and I’m watching time go by.  After the given 3 minutes, give or take a few minutes, I begin pulling the pink “tool” across my skin.  The first thing I notice is that this hurts MUCH more than a razor.  The second thing I notice is I have to scrape it across my skin six or seven times before all the hair is removed.  I start at the top and work my way down.  By the time I get to my ankles, about 15 minutes has gone by, and my leg feels vaguely like it’s on fire.  That’s ok though, there’s no hair left.  So I rinse my leg, and use some soap on it just to make sure there’s no acid left behind, and then take it out for a test.

“How does this feel?”

“Smooth.  I like it.”

I think to myself, “Sweet.  Shit.  Now I have to do the other leg.”

Back into the bathroom, back onto the edge of the tub, and on with the thick, gooey, white stuff.  This time, however, I get impatient, and begin scraping off the crap before the first 3 minutes are up.  That doesn’t matter so much, but when I get to the thicker hair that had 15 minutes to sit in its dipilatory bath, these ones have had just over 4 or 5 minutes.  So they don’t come off.  I scrape…and scrape…and scrape.  Nothing doing.  Oh well again.  Fuck it. 

It’s not worth it, I’m not doing it again, shaving in the shower takes about 3 minutes total.  Veet?  I think I’m at about half an hour.  Let say I get good at it though, and it takes less time.  Lets say it only takes me half that amount: 15 minutes.  I can still do it TWELVE MINUTES FASTER THE NORMAL WAY.

 

Now that that is off of my chest.

 

Justin and I went to Resident Evil: Apocalypse today.  It was pretty good.  I like Milla Jovovich as an actress, and I think she did a good job.  Most of the fight scenes were well done, and they didn’t overuse the suspense OH I MADE YOU JUMP factor, which is nice.  I’m a chicken shit…I jump a lot.  Maybe not as good as the first one, but worth seeing, even in the theater.

Wooooooodone!