There is so much going on inside my head right now.  Just constant talking and arguing, fighting and crying.

 

I can’t make myself stop crying.  I cry myself to sleep, I cry when I wake up.  I cry when I think about being alone, and I cry when I think about being together.

 

It is seven in the morning, the night after Justin told me that he wants to take a break to decide if he wants to be “with” me anymore.  I told him I would leave him alone, and let him have his time to decide.  It has been less than 12 hours, and I’m already going crazy. 

 

 

I don’t know what to do.  I don’t want to tell anyone, but I don’t want to lie.  I don’t want everyone in my office knowing what’s going on, yet I don’t want to pretend that I’m going home this weekend. 

 

God, please let him hurry to find his answer.  I can’t take the waiting.  It’s a hot knife in my heart.

 

 

No one can read this but Justin, and I don’t think he knows how.  This is for me.  This is because I need to say it SOMEWHERE, but it can’t be to anyone.