To act like everything is ok would be a lie.  To act like I’m fine would be acting.  To say that I’m going to be just fine…that’s just me saying.  Because right now, I don’t know.

 

 

I sit here, and I cry, and I tell myself I need to tell someone.  I need to talk before I leave for work.  I need someone. 

But there is no one.  Mom isn’t awake, nor Kristin.  I don’t know Bridgett well enough to run to her.  Dee will surely be sleeping before a day of classes.  I don’t have anyone else.

 

I’m suffocating.  I cry so hard I can’t breathe.  I don’t want to go to work all day and pretend everything is fine.  I don’t want to even be right now.  I felt alone before, but it’s real now.  I don’t know how to handle it, I don’t know what to do.

 

 

There is so much that I want to say, and so many thing that I want to do, but they’re all pointless and wouldn’t do anything.

My heart is hurting so bad.  I feel so broken.  I don’t know what to do.