I weighed 106.0 when I got on the scale this morning.  I guess I don’t understand.  I’m not trying to lose weight, and I’m not limiting what I eat, but I guess it’s still not enough?

 

So I’m sitting here, trying to work down “just one more” bite of oatmeal.  I hate feeling guilty.  I hate looking in the mirror, and thinking that everyone else knows I’m to skinny.   I hate finally being skinny enough to feel unattractive.

 

I hate lying to people about how much I weigh.  I hate that my mom asks every time I call her.  I hate that Bridgett worries.  I hate that there are people who look at me and say, “Oh!  I wish I could be that thin!” 

I honstly wish there were some magical way to pick your ideal weight, and you wouldn’t have to try for it, or constantly watch what you eat to get there.  I wish it was just what you were, and that’s that.

 

I suppose trying to be a healthy person, and maintaining a healthy weight also means not going down too far.  So I guess it’s time to move back up.  ><