I really have no clue. Today, I wanted to write about how I’m fighting the urge to just sit and watch all of my shows on Hulu, and ignore all other responsibilities. (Modern Family! Glee! House!) Really, does cleaning the house, showering and doing laundry sound HALF as awesome?!
Woah, sleep issues. Ronan had a late nap yesterday. Nanny let him go down at 5, and he slept until Brock got home at around 5:45. He then resisted sleep until after I got home from work, nearly 11 pm. How did he stay awake for so long?! He never goes more than 3 hours during the day without a nap, yet he can stay up for six hours at night while fighting sleep? I think that’s what’s known as over-exhaustion. We’ve seen so little in the way of improvements, it’s hard to imagine anything other than the status quo. This is our life… I heard a song yesterday by the Barenaked Ladies – “Who needs sleep, yeah, you’re never gonna get it…” – totally appropriate.
He also woke up at almost exactly 3 am, and screamed for half an hour. He is inconsolable – wont let me hold him, wont let me rock him, wont let me nurse him; it’s utterly heartbreaking. I sit and watch him writhe and scream with tears pouring down my face. I have no idea what’s going on, and no idea what to do. Ronan’s pediatrician says it’s behavioral, and he’s just throwing fits to get what he wants, to get picked up. My gut tells me something is hurting him, and it’s tearing me apart. If he just wanted attention or to be picked up, wouldn’t he stop ONCE HE WAS PICKED UP? It’s time for us to go for a second opinion. And since I’m still nursing, it’s also time for me to try some drastic moves. Cutting out diary seems like an insurmountable task, but it’s worth a try. If I’m not willing to quit nursing, I need to be willing to try something else that might help. No cheese. No butter. No ice cream. I might cry.
