TempestBeauty

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Get it out.

May 27, 2010

So, what do I do?

Do I continue this unannounced, unintentional posting hiatus?

Or do I attempt to write something while Ronan is upstairs, rolling around in his crib, clearly uninterested in taking a nap?

At least he’s not down here screaming in my face.

“No, no, no!”

I’m not even entirely sure where we went over the point that I felt like I couldn’t handle things any more.  How do I deal with the climbing, the ignoring, the misbehaving, the tantrums… without going crazy?  I try to be honest with myself and think that this may just be the way things are for the next few years.  I try to be optimistic and hope that he will move out of this phase in the next few weeks.  I try to enjoy the good moments while we have them, and let the bad moments slide by.

It’s not always that easy.

Please, go to sleep Ronan.

I can’t get anything done.  I’m wrong no matter what I do.  I feel stuck in the house, because taking him out in public when he’s like this is frustrating, embarrassing, and exhausting.  What do you do when your child smacks you in the face in the grocery line, and everyone sees it?

Do dishes Mandy?  Ronan stands at the baby gate and screams at me until I come back, or let him in the kitchen.  Let him in the kitchen then?  He eats the dog food, pulls pots out of the cupboards, sticks his hands in the trash, puts magnets in his mouth.  Can’t do dishes, have to police the child.

Dammit, Amanda.

This is really hard.  It busts my ass when people talk about how much easier things are now that their kid is such-and-such an age.  I’m sorry, it hasn’t gotten easier…  I’m not entirely sure that it ever will.

He’s screaming.  Not sleeping.

Get him up, I guess?  I’m never sure I’m doing the right thing.  And I’m tired of being told I’m doing the wrong thing all the time.

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15 Comments Filed Under: Mommy Stuff Tagged With: Mommyhood is HARD, Tantrums, Vent

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This here is a little bit about our life... our love... our pain... but mostly, our truth.

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